I know exactly what you mean man it’s almost like a trance I get it when I walk past the bookies and sometimes it can be brutal, it’s good you feel pissed off with yourself I’m sure in times gone by the £20 wouldn’t have even phased you
I watched a gambling documentary once and they where due to have a reformed gambler on for an interview but at the last minute he canceled because the night before he “for reasons unbeknown to himself, went to the local book maker and spent £900 for the first time in 9 years”
For some reason that’s always stuck with me, I think it’s because he was anxious about the interview, sometimes when somethings on my mind I find I desire a gamble more..