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[th themadchef WANTED $23 Outlaw]

Well guys i did not think i would be writing the second part so soon. I have to say thank you to all that have read my post and shared some of your experiences and issues with gambling.

Now before any of you say this guy still gambles YES your right i do gamble………………………I once a fortnight buy a couple of lucky dips on the lottery, i have taken my son on holiday and he played the 2p pushers and i did too its still gambling but not excessive gambling like blowing wages on chasing a zero on roulette and doing wanky bets on the dogs.

Right back to my story the exact date was 5th December 2017, xmas was looming and all my money was gone, fuck all ready for xmas, i was not eating and started drinking. This part is hard for me but its true i was so desperate that i stole yes stole £300 from my son and blew it all on the FOBT i was at one stage £1800 UP! blew the lot. I was in total meltdown, i was angry, worried and panicked. At home i had in the cupboard approx 120 Diazepam tablets. I took a shed load (from the paramedics report they think it was anywhere between 60-90 tablets ingested) i had washed it down with half a bottle of vodka. Oh prior to that i had decided i wanted to die and being a callus idiot i left a suicide note in the kitchen (My youngest son found it. Will tell you about him another time)

I left my home got in the car and drove to the Bookies cause i had a tenner in my pocket. When i pulled up outside my head was all over the place. I don’t even know how i made it there really. I know i walked in and the staff thought i was pissed and tried to put the tenner i had into the machine but failed miserably. I got escorted outside and tried to get into my car. they stopped me and called me a cab that’s what i can remember with a little help from the staff at the bookies.

I woke up in hospital on the 9th December in intensive care. I was rushed in on the 5th approx 8pm in the evening. My heart rate was so low from the cocktail i had taken i was actually lucky to be alive. I had a full Psyc report done and was deemed normal and did not require any help. I was discharged on the 11th December with dirty clothes and feeling very low and lost. That day i went to get help from the local council. I felt judged and humiliated asking for help and me having to tell them my problems. Did they help me you ask. the answer was sorry we don’t deem you as homeless, at risk, oh and were not providing you with a room for the night.

I felt sick, low and totally lost. I did call my ex she listened and refused me back to the house. I could hear my son crying in the back ground saying Mummy help Dad. I was choked but i had not realized the true state i had got myself in and i did not give a toss. My ex got me a room in a B & B for a night (She and i get on better now then before. We are divorced and we talk regularly)

When i checked into the guest room i was hungry. Oh forgot to tell you my uncle gave me £30 to buy some tobacco and some food. No i did not blow it in the machines. I did buy food and bought a half bottle of vodka and paracetamol from every shop i could. Yes i did i did it again i took 240 paracetamol and tried to end it i was desperate. Me not thinking straight did not realise paracetamol won’t kill you just like that, what they do is fuck your living and make your stomach bleed. So in the small hours of the morning i am chucking my guts up and suffering with severe stomach cramps. Again i was rushed into hospital, stomach was pumped and put on a reversing agent to protect my liver. This time i got help. I did not need to be sectioned but the Social Services worked with me on a daily basis for 2 months to ensure i did not harm myself again. That was the last time i tried to kill myself and the last time i ever visited a bookies, casino or adult gaming centre since. God i do crave a gamble even today. The urges are not so bad now and i am slowly getting my life back. I still have counselling on a weekly basis it does help trust me on this one.

I know this is not really about gambling but its what out of control gambling can do to people. My stupidity of overdoses has cost me dearly. In October 2018 i was diagnosed with crohn’s disease. This has most probably been brought on by my own stupid fault. I am ok i have good and bad days. The bad days are awful, doubled over with pain and sweating like a marathon runner. I recently had a section of my bowel removed fingers crossed this makes my life easier.

I said earlier that i stole from my son, even typing it makes me sick to my stomach. This money has been repaid in full and very lucky for me my son has forgiven me (Most of my family who i lied and cheated to have shut the door on me. I hope one day i can rebuild a relationship) My son now lives with me full time and yes his mum is happy as long as he is happy. I suppose what i am saying is i have been given a second chance and i am lucky to have my son with me.

I know everyone deals with gambling problems in different ways, all i can say is if you feel your gambling has got out of control STOP and get help or speak to someone. There is so much help and support out there, don’t be afraid and don’t do anything stupid. The first step to recovery is knowing you have a problem and your willing to do something positive about it.

Well bugger me i have written a novel. I hope this helps people and do feel free to leave a comment, i will respond to them.

I will add more soon if people are not that bored of me.

 

Thanks for reading and take care.

[sp spopple WANTED $14 Outlaw]

Good read pal, glad you are on the mend, I enjoy posts like this on this forum….not because of the morbidness of course but it exposes people to the reality of how different people deal with being down in the dumps due to gambling addiction and not that we need it but its a good warning to others. Sorry to read you have crohns but dont get hung up on the causes just move forwards with your life now and drop the past and use the pain as a motivator to succeed in what you want in life.

 

I like you have also ruined most of my family relationships, stole lots from parents and took out numerous loans etc. Its not rational of course but when you are in the hole and have no where else to crawl you dont think about consequences, I havent gambled since about December 2017 also yet I dont really get an urge to gamble but I enjoy the actual “games” and being someone into computers and programming I take interest in new releases and games mechanics but thats just my nerdy side. I still watch streams but to be honest I would rather I didnt, short videos like bandits are best.

 

Thanks for sharing what must be difficult words to type but its good that there are people who frequently put emphasis on the destruction of gambling. I wont say to people dont gamble as most people I know who do have a flutter have it under control (but they are still massively down, especially those my parents age who have probably lost 6 figures in a lifetime that could have bought a house) but you just need to be vigilant. When I started I wasnt greedy and would regularly make £300-500 on slots each week playing at like £1.50-2 spins and I did that for months and rarely had a bad week as I would always cashout when in a reasonable bit of profit but after a while the stakes increased and the greediness kicked in where before I would withdraw what I deposited to cover losses I stopped giving a shit and just went wild, thats when you stop.

[Winningbird WANTED $574 Outlaw]

I’m so pleased you’re on the mend, and have got your son and ex back in your life. It’s good to have people to talk to, especially when you’re feeling like that.

If you ever get the urge to gamble and you have no one else to talk to, please talk to us on here and we (most of us) will help you the best we can. There’s quite a few recovering gamblers on here so we would all be happy to help you stay ‘on the wagon’.

All the best and keep up the good work 🙂

[whoswho WANTED $114 Outlaw]

Wow what a read. Glad your back on  track. Even more glad that there isn’t going to be a part 3 when you explain how you prostituted yourself to pay your son back ?

[GIRTH32 WANTED $16 Outlaw]

Hi themadchef just thought would say thanks for sharing your story , also thanks for last night for offer9uou help and advice,  just a note to say been a long 24 hours told the wife everything and I mean everything about what I have gambled and borrowed these last 4 years whe the gambling gripped me hard so had a lot of soul searching and she is letting me stay but can’t gamble ever 7, did gamestop and she come with me to local bookies and had to self exclude there that was hard and emotional the women in there are lovely known them a lot longer before fobts grabbed me by the bollocks she took over the bank accounts as well and j the job I do taxi driver as the pin numbers for my logins do can check what I have earned so she will take over that as well start of a very long road now and with the support of my wife and 3 daughter’s who no it all will get there just emotionally drained having a few days of Till Tuesday then starting afresh , so once again thanks and I am glad you shared your story with us all and great you are doing well and great about 4lad living with you cheers everyone

[th themadchef WANTED $23 Outlaw]

Hi Winning Bird, thanks for the message. Yes my son now lives with me full time. Been living with me just over a year now. We have also have a dog. As for my ex were divorced but we get on really well.

[th themadchef WANTED $23 Outlaw]

GIRTH32 wrote:

Hi themadchef just thought would say thanks for sharing your story , also thanks for last night for offer9uou help and advice,  just a note to say been a long 24 hours told the wife everything and I mean everything about what I have gambled and borrowed these last 4 years whe the gambling gripped me hard so had a lot of soul searching and she is letting me stay but can’t gamble ever 7, did gamestop and she come with me to local bookies and had to self exclude there that was hard and emotional the women in there are lovely known them a lot longer before fobts grabbed me by the bollocks she took over the bank accounts as well and j the job I do taxi driver as the pin numbers for my logins do can check what I have earned so she will take over that as well start of a very long road now and with the support of my wife and 3 daughter’s who no it all will get there just emotionally drained having a few days of Till Tuesday then starting afresh , so once again thanks and I am glad you shared your story with us all and great you are doing well and great about 4lad living with you cheers everyone

Hi buddy, seen your post and i was thinking about you last night. I know you have done the right think, and to be honest i bet a weight has come off your shoulders. I can only imagine on how upset your wife is and i do hope with time it mends itself. Remember yesterday is the past and you can’t change the past, you can influence the future. Good luck and do let me know how it all goes.

[th themadchef WANTED $23 Outlaw]

GIRTH32 wrote:

Hi themadchef just thought would say thanks for sharing your story , also thanks for last night for offer9uou help and advice,  just a note to say been a long 24 hours told the wife everything and I mean everything about what I have gambled and borrowed these last 4 years whe the gambling gripped me hard so had a lot of soul searching and she is letting me stay but can’t gamble ever 7, did gamestop and she come with me to local bookies and had to self exclude there that was hard and emotional the women in there are lovely known them a lot longer before fobts grabbed me by the bollocks she took over the bank accounts as well and j the job I do taxi driver as the pin numbers for my logins do can check what I have earned so she will take over that as well start of a very long road now and with the support of my wife and 3 daughter’s who no it all will get there just emotionally drained having a few days of Till Tuesday then starting afresh , so once again thanks and I am glad you shared your story with us all and great you are doing well and great about 4lad living with you cheers everyone

Thanks for the post, no i did not prostitute myself lol. I am going to do a follow up part 3 i feel its helping others even if they do not want to share there experiences on here its also helping me. Be good whoswho

[th themadchef WANTED $23 Outlaw]

whoswho wrote:

Wow what a read. Glad your back on  track. Even more glad that there isn’t going to be a part 3 when you explain how you prostituted yourself to pay your son back ?

Thanks for the post, no i did not prostitute myself lol. I am going to do a follow up part 3 i feel its helping others even if they do not want to share there experiences on here its also helping me. Be good whoswho

[Du Dune2000 WANTED $205 Blocked]

GIRTH32 wrote:

Hi themadchef just thought would say thanks for sharing your story , also thanks for last night for offer9uou help and advice,  just a note to say been a long 24 hours told the wife everything and I mean everything about what I have gambled and borrowed these last 4 years whe the gambling gripped me hard so had a lot of soul searching and she is letting me stay but can’t gamble ever 7, did gamestop and she come with me to local bookies and had to self exclude there that was hard and emotional the women in there are lovely known them a lot longer before fobts grabbed me by the bollocks she took over the bank accounts as well and j the job I do taxi driver as the pin numbers for my logins do can check what I have earned so she will take over that as well start of a very long road now and with the support of my wife and 3 daughter’s who no it all will get there just emotionally drained having a few days of Till Tuesday then starting afresh , so once again thanks and I am glad you shared your story with us all and great you are doing well and great about 4lad living with you cheers everyone

So happy for you – don’t even look at a slot, a bookies or touch anything to do with gambling.  Apart from your wife just take a look at your 3 daughters and imagine what it would be like visiting them every Sunday, and sitting in a bedsit the other 6 days.

Just bear in mind your wife is still going to give you a hard time occasionally and let it go, she has earned that right.   You now need to repay her for standing by you when you have let her down.   That’s not a criticism, just a statement of fact which I am sure you have faced up to

[Du Dune2000 WANTED $205 Blocked]

Dune2000 wrote:

I do taxi driver as the pin numbers for my logins do can check what I have earned so she will take over that as well

Just make sure you hand over your tips or you she will automatically assume you are gambling with them.  It’s they way their mind works – even when women say they trust you they don’t trust you.    Hell, I wouldn’t trust me 🙂

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