If you’re in the UK get in touch with the NHS gambling addiction service. There’s always a way out of this and you’ve made the first step by admitting to yourself you’ve got a very serious problem. I’ve provided a link for you with stuff to look through. They won’t judge and are there to help not berate you and make you feel worse.
You can beat this, and there’s always light at the end of the tunnel. Please keep in touch and let us know how you’re getting on
You’ve got this 👊